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Revenge Porn: How to handle being a victim

My hope with this page is to provide victims of revenge porn, and other sexual image based abuse, with a place to find help, find answers and find some comfort. The trauma of being a victim of this kind of abuse can leave you feeling helpless and unable to think clearly. The anxiety can be debilitating. Please find comfort here and I hope that I can help you navigate this horrific time. At the very least, please know that you're not alone and people like me want to help you. 

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My Story

I was a meteorologist for New York City's number one rated morning show. Being on the Mornings on 1 team was a dream come true. My dream was taken away from me in mid 2022 when someone sent to my work screenshots of me performing sexual acts on a webcam, while at home.  It started in June 2022 with a few emails with screenshots attached. At the same time, the person was posting those screenshots on gay porn websites, along with where I worked and my full name. Between July and August 2022, the same person took it a step further and printed those screenshots on paper and then mailed them to my partner, my mother and my employer. I was officially terminated in September 2022 and news of this became mainstream, essentially 'cancelling' me and leaving my reputation shattered.

Navigating this trauma has been the greatest challenge that I've ever faced. And I'll honest, there were many times when I didn't think I could go on. I would imagine a world without me in it. Thankfully, I had the support of friends, my partner, family and fans from my TV career. I also had a therapist and a psychiatrist that provided me with the tools to cope with it all. 

What I needed but didn't get was legal support. Reporting the images being captured without my permission, and starting the process of finding out who was behind the abuse, was not easy. I filed reports with the police, spoke to my HR department and voiced concerns about personal safety, and I reached out to lawyers. And through it all, I wasn't able to stop this person from continuing on and ruining my career. And a year later, as I'm writing this story, that person has not been charged or held accountable for what he did to me.

My Misson

Thousands, perhaps even more, experience something similar to what happened to me. In fact, it's happening right now. And far too many of these offenders and predators are getting away with it. They cause trauma, anxiety, fear, and ruin the lives of good people. There isn't enough legal support to hold them accountable. My goal, in part, is to change that.

As much as I'd like to flip a switch and create a world where you can report these crimes easily and the person can be caught quickly, the reality is this will take some time. So that's why my main mission is to provide immediate support to those going through something like this. 

There are many free resources to help get images taken down, to report abuse, to file police reports, and to get justice. It's not easy, but you can do it.

If You're a Victim

Have a Good Cry

Being violated in this way hurts and it's scary. Let yourself feel those emotions. 

Seek Out Support

Whether it's friends, family or a crisis phone number. Talk to someone. Tell them what happened. Often when this happens, you're embarrassed and don't want to tell anyone. That type of isolation will hold you back. Please, please talk to someone about what happened to you.

Take Action

Now you're ready to fight back. And this next part is hard. Don't immediately delete the evidence. Take screenshots of the abuse before deleting anything. Then, if pictures were posted publicly, find where you can report abuse and request that the images be removed. Look up the laws in your area that might protect you from revenge porn and similar abuse. Report the abuse to police if that's necessary. 

You can also write a DMCA Takedown Request. Some websites require this. It must be written properly for the request to be granted. That's ridiculous, right? Someone can post something so easily that isn't theirs but you have to work so hard to get these images of yourself removed. You can find a template of a DMCA here. I used this many, many times.

Manage your Stress, Guilt and Trauma

It's time for some self love. Remember, you're just human and this isn't your fault. Sure, maybe you made some decisions that made you vulnerable. But must I remind you that you're human? Someone took advantage of your vulnerability and intentionally hurt you, and that is wrong. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. It will be ok.

Give it Time

These things take time. In some cases, they may never go away completely. It's a tough reality to deal with but we must not let this define us. You can control your narrative. Take back your strength by doing something that makes you feel good. You could help others going through something similar? Maybe you help reshape the laws to make it easier for future victims to get justice

Here is an amazing resource that can guide you through the trauma of being a victim of Revenge Porn or "Sextortion."

Other Resources

FTC: What to do if you're the target of revenge porn

Cyber Civil Rights Initiative

Cyber Civil Rights Legal Project


If you need to connect with someone or have any questions, you can reach me via email. If you need to speak with someone immediately, please call the crisis number with the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative that I've provided here.

And if you feel like you might harm yourself, please call a friend or a loved one and talk to me. You can also call 988 at anytime, from anywhere and get immediate help.

Crisis Hotline: 844-878-2274

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